Senior single lady in search of not too good flat to let
The first time I heard the term T‘senior single’, was at a church meeting where an event for unmarried members was being planned. Because such members were not part of a couple, the term single had been coined for such persons; but to use the term for a 23 year old who was fending off multiple suitors and a mature lady of 35 years, who frankly was desperate, did not seem appropriate. I laughed it off at the time but on reaching th my 34 birthday a few days ago and no suitor in sight; I had come to the sudden realisation that I was a ‘senior single’.
That realisation sent me into a paroxysm of soul searching. I could pass for a 26 year old except for early in the mornings before I put my make up on, I had a great job which meant that I wasn’t going to drain any man’s finances, a good cook and despite my status ready to do the kneeling down bit for any in-laws that came my way. So what was the problem?
As I had pestered my friends, both married and single to such a degree, they agreed to have a ‘strategy’ session to get to the roots of the problem. That evening, my life was torn apart as my friends delved into my past relationships, looked at my spiritual Senior single lady in search of not too good flat to let background, physical attributes, desperation, in fact every aspect of my life. I rejected every advice that suggested that someone from the village was doing me or that my taste was too ‘high’ but one thing which was pointed out struck me: once a prospect visited my fantastic apartment in Ikoyi, something always changed in the relationship.
Looking around the flat, I could see why. Though I am a Nigerian, I was brought in by my company as an expatriate due to the way I negotiated my contract with them. So though I am a humble girl, whose family home is in Surulere, my three bed luxurious serviced flat, which was done up by a top interior decorator, says something else. There was a swimming pool, gym, tennis court and a wellmanicured garden. Apart from domestic and service personnel, I was the only black face there. Lagos men were scared of women with such class was the general conclusion.
I moved quickly. The very next day, I sent notice to my company that I was quitting the flat and that they should monetise the rent and put it as part of my pay cheque. Luckily, they agreed and since another expatriate was coming in, I gave up my flat and moved in with my parents.
After the initial honeymoon period of 8 months, when my Dad and Mum were overjoyed to have their ‘baby’ back home with them, the usual friction and loss of independence started to come in. Besides that, at another ‘strategy’ session with my friends, we agreed that while eligible men may not want a high flying woman, they would be wary of a needy girl, still staying with her parents.
The solution? Look for a flat, nice enough to show some financial independence but not too great as to ‘oppress’ my suitors. The problem is when I tell the estate agents who show me properties, I complain that the flats are too good. They look at me as if I am insane. Please, I am desperately seeking a flat in the Lekki axis (Old Ikoyi is too up market) and South West Ikoyi on the condition that the flat is slightly run down!
Any counsel for this ‘homeless’ single? editor@castles.com.ng
Ok… It ok to live in a 2 bed or a mini flat apartment around Surulere, Ikoyi, Ogba/Ojodu(Ikeja axis), or VI/Ajah axis, although it depend on the proximity to her place of work and don’t come out as too high class and sophisticated with rings or on your finger(s) as men would either see you as not searching, or married, or divorced and not ready to commit again. Simplicity and class shouldn’t be replaced with mediocrity though.
The right man for you would find you some day.