TIME WASTERS AND FRUITLESS HARD WORKS
I should have known.
He speaks refined English but eats like a hungry man.
It was only the first day that he came with an expensive vehicle and a driver. After that, he comes to my office in Uber and we use my car for all the ‘runs’.
He told me that he wanted to buy a house in old Ikoyi. For almost every day in a whole month, I showed him all the exclusive properties for sale in Ikoyi. He would always find one fault or another. It is either the design, the materials used, the location or the positioning of the kitchen or the master bedroom.
I advised him to buy land instead and build to his own taste, but he jettisoned that idea.
After we exhausted all the detached houses for sale in old Ikoyi, we moved to Banana Island.
A very principled lawyer had an exquisite house for sale in Banana Island. It took a lot of persuasion before he agreed to open the place for inspection.
“Mr Obande, hope your client is serious and has the money? I don’t like time wasters o!” he warned me.
“My client appears serious from all indications. He is sophisticated and speaks impeccable English” I answered.
“Na English we go chop?” he retorted.
“From my assessment, I believe that he has the resources. The only issue I have with him is that he is very choosy” I assured him.
“Don’t worry about that. If he sees this my property, he will fall in love with it” he replied with conviction.
“Don’t blame the man. Even you, if you have over a billion Naira to splash on buying a house, you will be very choosy” he added for emphasis.
When we got to the property, the lawyer was about opening the door of the house then he took a glance at my client. Immediately his countenance changed as if he had seen a ghost.
“You again?” he shrieked at my client.
“Mr Obande, you disappoint me! Shebi I told you that I don’t want time wasters? You have too much respect in this industry to be doing this rubbish”. he shouted at me.
Before I could ask him what the problem was, he had got in his car and drove off.
My client and me were left standing watching his car disappear.
I felt very embarrassed.
My client denied knowing the lawyer and claimed he too was shocked.
“That is one crazy son of a bitch! Why did you bring me to meet such a barbaric person?” my client queried me.
I apologised profusely.
The client then said he likes the property even without conducting an internal inspection.
I could not let an opportunity to make good money slip out of my hands. Not after the countless phone calls and numerous inspections. So, I rushed to the lawyer’s office. He told me not to waste my time on that man because he is no buyer. The lawyer disclosed that my client once had a conclusion meeting with the property owner. He showed me an offer letter and a Deed of Assignment that he had prepared for my client on the same property. He further stated that my client had reportedly done a legal search on the property. The man confidently told them to withdraw the property from the market that he would pay for it. They were waiting for him to pay, then the story started. He is mopping his fund into a single account so that he can pay from one source. EFCC is monitoring people’s account who do such big transactions etcetera.
“When the delay was getting too long and the excuses were unending, I decided to beam my searchlight on him. I discovered that he is a former banker and that he is as broke as a church rat. It is his wife that is feeding him. The Prado that he sometimes brings and the driver are for his wife. He uses it only when his wife does not need it. I don’t think he has N10m to buy a bungalow in Ikorodu, not to talk of billions to buy a mansion in Banana Island. He is a shameless time waster.” he concluded.
I was shocked.
Ah, God of mercy! And this is the client that I had built my financial hope on over the past one month!! Let this information not be true.
The lawyer said that he could see that I didn’t believe him. He entrusted the key of the house to me to conduct the inspection at my convenience. After the inspection, the client started telling stories.
He said that he was trying to bring money from abroad, but EFCC held on to it to investigate the source of the fund. Tears nearly came out of my eyes as I listened to him telling fables. It became crystal clear that the man is a ‘broke ass’ sadist. A useless and inconsiderate vagabond impersonating wealthy people in order to be inspecting expensive houses for fun and criticising them.
I remembered how much time and resources I have wasted on the impostor. I was very angry and was ready to vilify and pour venom on his bald head.
“Oga, why don’t people like you have any bit of empathy nau? Why can’t you pity helpless folks who are hustling to make ends meet? Why come out to suffer people when you know you don’t have any money to buy property? The lawyer told me everything about you. I prayed to God not bring your type my way this year o! If you are bored because you no longer have a job, why don’t you read books or watch movies instead of coming out to waste the time of those of us who are looking for our daily bread? You this shameless time waster, you have a wife who is feeding you. After you have eaten free food, you will then use the energy to come out and waste the time and resources of those of us whose wives are not feeding. You better stop this senseless behaviour or I will take your case to the court of God”,
I threatened.
I know that Yahoo boys who are bored with idleness, sometimes come out pretending that they want to buy or rent a property. But most of them knowing that they have wasted your precious time are humane enough to give money for fuel or lunch or transport. This old man would not buy fuel, yet I would drive him in my car for the whole day. Twice or thrice, he even ate lunch on my account.
How I wish that there is a way that Realtors can make time wasters pay for waste of our time and resources.
2022 is fast ending, Father Lord, take time wasters far from me in 2023. I reject all fruitless hard works in 2023 in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen! …. (A reflection of an unconventional mind)
Obande Agbese is an Author, Public Commentator, Philosopher, Scholar and an Estate Valuer Obande Agbese & Co 08138641265. obandeagbeseandco@gmail.com